The Silence That Costs Clarity
You’ve built a high-performing remote team, delegated effectively, and established clear procedures. And yet, a subtle but persistent barrier often remains: silence. When you ask your Filipino Virtual Assistant (VA) for feedback, to critique a workflow, or to flag a potential issue, the response is often a polite, almost immediate affirmation, or perhaps a gentle delay. This is not a lack of engagement; it is the manifestation of the ‘hiya’ Factor.
Hiya (pronounced “hee-yah”) is a deeply ingrained Filipino concept related to shame, propriety, and the maintenance of harmony within a group. For a professional, it translates into a powerful reluctance to disagree with or directly correct an authority figure, such as a client or manager, out of fear of causing offense, disrupting harmony, or risking one’s standing.
In a Western context, silence is often viewed as consent or approval. In a Filipino context, silence can mean “I understand the instruction, but I foresee a problem, and I am struggling to communicate it without risking our relationship.” This gap, often called the feedback deficit, is a serious obstacle to operational excellence, slowing down process improvement and leaving preventable errors unaddressed.
To move beyond the ‘hiya’ factor, managers must deliberately restructure their feedback mechanisms using specific, culturally empathetic techniques. This is not about changing culture; it’s about adapting leadership to harness a critical resource: your VA’s unique, on-the-ground operational insight.
Diagnosing the Feedback Deficit
Before fixing the silence, a manager must understand its source. The reluctance to speak up stems from several intersecting cultural norms:
1. Authority Hierarchy (Utang na Loob):
- The Norm: A strong sense of utang na loob (debt of gratitude) often exists toward the employer who provided the opportunity. Challenging the employer’s idea feels like repaying kindness with disrespect.
- The Result: The VA defaults to following instructions, even if they know a better or more efficient way exists.
2. Maintaining Harmony (Pakikisama):
- The Norm: Pakikisama emphasizes getting along with others and preserving group cohesion. Disagreement, especially public disagreement, is seen as disruptive and confrontational.
- The Result: The VA avoids direct “no” or “this is wrong,” preferring indirect language or silence to maintain the pleasantness of the professional relationship.
3. Fear of Shame (Hiya):
- The Norm: The fear of being seen as incompetent or making the manager lose face (mapahiya) by pointing out their oversight is powerful.
- The Result: They would rather struggle quietly with an inefficient process than risk the shame of revealing a flaw or misunderstanding.
The Solution: Restructuring the Feedback Channel
Encouraging open feedback requires shifting the process from a spontaneous critique (high hiya risk) to a structured, low-risk protocol.
4. Create Low-Risk Channels for Dissent
The default feedback mechanism (a live meeting) is the highest hiya risk environment. Successful managers create safer alternatives:
- The Anonymous Poll/Form: For process reviews or high-level organizational critique, use an anonymous Google Form or SurveyMonkey poll. Ask direct, quantifiable questions like, “On a scale of 1-5, how clear is this new SOP?”
- The Asynchronous Flag: Institute a specific protocol within your project management software (Asana/ClickUp). Rather than asking for verbal critique, train the VA to use a non-judgmental flag, such as a “process friction“ or “efficiency risk“ tag, which requires only a brief written note, eliminating the need for confrontation.
5. Practice “Depersonalized Critique”
When asking for feedback, shift the focus away from the person (manager/VA) and onto the process (system/task).
- The Wording Shift: Never ask, “What do you think of my idea?” or “Is my workflow correct?” Instead, ask: “What risks do you see in this process? ” or “Where is the greatest friction point for the system?”
- The Data Buffer: Frame feedback around data. Ask, “What does the data say about this process’s efficiency?” This allows the VA to point to a number or a metric, not the manager’s fault, making the critique objective and non-personal.
6. Mandate the “Solution, Not Problem” Rule
Empower the VA to bring solutions forward by making it a mandatory part of their role description.
- The Protocol: The VA is trained to never just state a problem (high hiya risk). If an issue is flagged, the requirement is always that it be accompanied by at least one potential solution or next step. This reframes the act from being a critic to being an operational partner.
- The Language: Use language like, “Your job is to safeguard this process. If you see a way to improve it by 10%, that is your highest value task.” This shifts the VA’s utang na loob away from blind obedience and toward operational stewardship.
Reinforcing Feedback as a Leadership Value
Culture change starts at the top. The executive must actively demonstrate that feedback is not just accepted, but highly valued and rewarded.
7. Lead with Your Own Flaws
The manager must initiate the process of vulnerability, lowering the bar for the VA.
- The Technique: Start a meeting by deliberately pointing out a mistake you, the manager, recently made. Then, ask for input on how to prevent it again. This signals that errors are learning opportunities, not grounds for shame.
- The Reward: Publicly and explicitly thank the VA when they flag an issue that saved time or money, no matter how small. Use highly specific positive reinforcement: “Thanks again for flagging that inefficiency. You saved the team four hours of busywork this week. It’s a huge help to everyone.”
8. Normalize the “Challenge”
Make disagreement a standard, expected part of the workflow.
- The Practice: Institute a “mandatory challenge” at the end of every project review. The manager asks, “We’re great at this process, but if we had to cut one step, which would create the least friction?” or “If you were teaching this process to a new hire, what part would you change?” This gives the VA permission to analyze and offer critique within a defined, safe structure.
- The Follow-Up: Always close the loop. If the VA flags an inefficiency, ensure it is addressed immediately, even if the solution is simply an explanation of why the process must remain difficult. Ignoring feedback instantly reinforces the belief that silence is safer.
The Operational Dividend of Empathy
The ‘hiya’ factor is a powerful driver of cultural behavior, but it does not have to be a permanent block to clear communication. By recognizing the cultural dynamics at play and restructuring your feedback channels, such as moving from spontaneous, high-risk confrontation to structured, depersonalized protocol, you empower your Filipino VA to act as a proactive safeguard.
The manager who masters this cultural empathy earns an operational dividend: a remote partner who feels safe enough to share critical insights, ensuring your systems are constantly improving, predictable, and resilient. Mastering the art of encouraging open feedback from Filipino virtual assistant is the definitive mark of executive excellence in the globalized digital age.
